Predict Viral Videos Before You Publish.

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You’ve probably felt it. That sickening lurch when you post something you were *sure* about — the video you spent eleven hours on, the one with the perfect lighting, the clever hook, the edit that made you laugh out loud — and the algorithm greets it with the digital equivalent of a shrug. Thirty-seven views. Two of them yours. Meanwhile, some creator you’ve never heard of films themselves eating a spoonful of cinnamon in their bathroom, and it pulls four million views in a weekend. You tell yourself it’s luck. You tell yourself the algorithm is broken.